#4 Identity and Belonging

Life has some big questions.  What is the meaning of life and is there a purpose?  Why am I here?  Is there a God and is He involved? These are just a few.  I think the big questions in life can be answered by knowing our identity.  All of the big questions become Who am I?  The answers to this question are a key to our identity.  The best way I can illustrate this is to encourage you to take a notepad, write at the top I am... and start itemizing your responses.  Then expand this by itemizing I am a person who...

Identity is shaped by our developmental sense of belonging and where we experience recognition and acceptance.  We initially gain this from birth in our families.  After their basic survival and instinctive needs are met, children move to the all important emotional development of being loved and belonging. Then we look for belonging in public places like school and activities, and then with our involvement in social or cultural groups where we experiment with where we feel like we fit. If this development of identity is arrested, flawed, dysfunctional, or traumatic, then issues of identity are to be expected. It becomes a sense of being dislocated (or lost). We don’t have a secure sense of belonging, the most critical issue of emotional development and a link to understanding addiction.

In summary, this developmental process begins as an infant, is shaped initially through parenting, expands into the local community and ultimately expands to be influenced by the world and universe.

But even if we grow up with the healthiest development and sense of psychosocial identity, there is still a larger issue of spiritual identity. Sadly this is one that is often ignored. If this is not resolved then one will form attachments to individuals and groups that are poor imitations. What is my identity in terms of the universe? It is a primary perception. One of my favorite passages in the Old Testament is when God told Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses asked who he should tell the people has sent him?  God answered "I AM WHO I AM" (Exodus 3:14).  Another is found in the New Testament  where it states I am a "new creation" in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). 

On your I Am list you might modify the title to I am a person who believes... and list your faith beliefs, your value system. Then on your list modify the next title to I am a person who desires to...  to itemize where you feel your identity is leading to in the future.

“Each of us needs to belong, not just to one person, but to a family, friends, a group and a culture. It is only through belonging that we can break out of the shell of individualism and self-centeredness that both protects and isolates us."                            Jean Vanier: Becoming Human.   
                   
The next post will explore the formation of identity in more detail and its relationship to addiction. Thanks so much for those who have been writing in response to this recent series of posts on addiction. I have enjoyed the interaction with questions and comments, allowing me to be in touch more personally.

Ross

#3 Spirituality of Addiction

It is tragic how the addict can love their drug more than a spouse, children, employment, and the positive feelings derived from responsibility and respecting moderation.  It is essential to understand that active addiction also severs ties and openness to spiritual matters as there are few moments of true clarity.

Carl Jung believed that craving for alcohol was really a search for wholeness or union with God.  The Latin term for alcohol is spiritus and he remarked, "...you use the same word for the highest religious experience as well as for the most depraving poison."  Most labels on distilled liquor still use the term Spirits of Alcohol.

Abraham Maslow commenting on the spiritual life stated that it is the basic component of “our biological life.”  Spiritual life constitutes the most essential humanity.  Leo Jampolsky notes that "addiction is a misdirected spiritual search that is rooted in a fundamental belief that I am not acceptable the way I am and there is a void that needs to be filled."  Addicts believe something external to themselves will fill this void. 

 Bill Wilson, co-founder of AA, referred to alcoholism as a "soul sickness and a form of spiritual bankruptcy."  In addiction, the person has no real being or is a lost soul, disconnected from self, others, and God in a profound way. Addiction is a misguided state of being that seeks meaning, peace, and transcendence which are characteristics of spirituality.

Addiction is misguided because it seeks to replace God with allegiances to objects or attachments.  Spiritually, addiction is a deep-seated form of idolatry. The objects of our addictions become our false gods. These are what we worship, what we attend to, where we primarily give our time and energy.

The Greek word (the original language of the New Testament) for soul is psyche and is the root for the concept of psychology. Addiction is often seen as soul sickness.  Kevin P. McClone has coined the term Psychospirituality of Addiction integrating psychological insights with the spiritual nature of addiction. 

Addiction generally involves toxic shame most often derived from abuse. The victim feels there is something defective about themselves and suffer feelings of worthlessness. Their God given dignity was damaged in the abuse and in a sense they carry the offenders shame who committed but has not been accountable about the abuse. This can occur in any stage of life, not just childhood. This also includes all trauma issues like dislocation, homelessness, oppression in war torn countries, spousal abuse, accidents, any PTSD etc.

James Reeves has written about The Emotional - Spiritual Principle in his book Refuge.

  1.Your spiritual growth will never go beyond 
     your emotional growth.

  2. You can never have a more intimate
      relationship with God  than you are 
      capable of having with other people.

  3. Your level of emotional maturity will 
      always create a ceiling for your spiritual
      maturity.

In an attempt to integrate the previous discussion, I understand addiction as a matter of uncertain identity. Identity in this sense consists roughly of what makes you unique and valuable as an individual and different from others. It is the way you see or define yourself, or the network of values and convictions that structure your life. 

My next post will discuss the dynamics of identity. 

#1 What is Addiction? (Part One)

For the past 16 months, I have been using this blog to keep my friends and supporters up to date on my activities. I am going to also start sharing information from the workshops I have been doing in Oregon, Washington  and Vancouver BC. I hope the content will create some interaction.

I have been motivated to understand addiction not only through my own recovery, but also by the research findings that one of eight people in North America is addicted to alcohol and / or other drugs. What is different about the one who is addicted from the other seven?  Is it about moral weakness, will power, genetics, psycho-social development, biological differences, or neuroscience? There are no easy answers, a variety of reasons, and that's part of what makes recovery so difficult. I intend to address all these possibilities.

ASAM (American Society of Addiction Medicine) is the main governing organization of policies concerning addiction treatment certification standards and practice. They have recently re-defined how they see addiction.

ASAM Short Definition of Addiction:

Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors.

Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death.

ASAM no longer limits addiction to substance abuse, and is including other issues like gambling, shopping, computer gaming and pornography etc.  They include a spiritual component to addiction which is of primary importance to me and my readers.

I use the phrase drug addiction to include alcohol. Less formal ways I have described addicts over the years include, no stop switch once they start, can't guarantee their behavior when they use or drink, and when their use is a problem to those close to them they either don't moderate their use or abstain.Recreational users may abuse, but learn from the experience and change their use.

I believe understanding addiction requires a faith based and multi-disciplined approach integrating a Biblical Theology and spiritual disciplines with the sciences of Neuroscience, Biology, Genetics, and Psychosocial Development.

If you are interested in the complete and long form of the ASAM definition, I will be glad to email you a copy.

#2 What is Addiction? (Part Two)

All drugs are medication. Psychoactive drugs are substances that directly alter the normal functioning of the central nervous system. They pass the blood / brain barrier and alter perception, mood, consciousness, cognition and behavior. Drugs that are addictive are mood altering. They resemble the brain's own natural chemicals that influence how we act and feel.

 

Addiction is an attempt to transcend, pass over, mask, or numb out to the stressors of life. Temporarily, due to the chemical exchange of drugs and the brain, it feels like this has been accomplished. There are accompanying defenses and denial that helps fuel this delusion. However, it is short lasting, and the addict finds that actually he has added more pain to his life as the consequences of abusing drugs. Then the cycle continues. but eventually with more drugs, as tolerance increases in response to more emotional stressors as a consequence of drug abuse. Eventually, the addict can become fearful of trying to live without mood altering chemicals. When one quits the addiction to a particular drug or behavior addiction, it becomes very easy to substitute another addiction in its place. The list is not in any particular order.

                                    
                                            Tolerance

The body regards any drug it takes as a toxin and the liver and kidneys try to eliminate the drug. If the use continues, these organs are forced to adapt and develop tolerance and the user has to take larger and larger amounts to get the same effect. For example one amphetamine tablet will energize an effect that can only be matched by 100 tablets on the100th day of use.

Due to tolerance, addiction becomes progressive, and the dosage must be increased to transcend life's stressors as shown in the previous diagram.

But stressors become increased due to the difficulties caused by addiction and the cycle becomes a downward spiral.

                                       Reverse Tolerance

As one grows older, the trend is reversed and the user becomes less able to handle even moderate amounts. This is particularly true in alcoholics, when as the liver is destroyed, it loses the ability to metabolize the drug. An alcoholic with cirrhosis of the liver can stay intoxicated all day on a pint of wine because the raw alcohol is passing through the body unchanged.

Results of Workshops in Washington:

We just completed the third Addiction Workshop in the area where I am living and the fourth begins in two weeks in Bellingham. I am encouraged that a major part of the mission that initially drew me here is coming to fruition; that is equipping local churches to  address addiction.

On Nov 1, The North Bay Christ the King Community Church will be hosting the beginning of a "Recovery Committee" to organize and coordinate recovery efforts at the church and in the local area. I will be inviting representatives from the other churches that hosted workshops to attend as well. My involvement will be serving as a consultant and support person with the local leadership.

Our first task will be "asset mapping" of the area; that is researching and itemizing what already is available and what is needed. Then we will do some "asset mapping" of those in the local churches involved. This has already begun with two dentists who are willing to help those recovering from long term meth-amphetamine addiction.  As you know meth strips away the health of teeth and untreated abscess can be fatal.  Also the cosmetic improvement of dentures or partials enhances recovery.

Two workshop participants shared when they first attempted recovery there was no available Detox available from the Canadian Border to Seattle. One goal will be to inquire and see what can be initiated in this area with the support of local churches and community organizations.

Any of my blog readers in the area that are interested are invited to attend. Contact me and I will get back to you with details.

I am so grateful for all those who have sent their thoughts, prayers, and financial support these last 15 months making this possible.

2nd Wellness Retreat

The second Wellness Retreat with men from the shelter at First United Church gathered at Camp Fircom on Gambier Island Sept 19-21. There were 4 men from the previous retreat accompanied by 5 new men. With the theme "Work and; Play" and to help keep costs at a minimum, the men all volunteered fencing the plot for the acre size garden being constructed. 

Two of the men assumed leadership as they had previous experience fencing. I was so impressed with the cooperation and team spirit shown by the group. They were so efficient, we only worked about 4 hours until running out of wire. Then we took a great 3 hour canoe and kayak trip to view seals around the corner of the island. 

Often I will hear a comment that shows the impact of these retreats. We made our own lunch in the field with great rolls, ham and cheese, and produce and trimmings from the existing garden. As we were doing so I overheard one of the men say, "I can't believe it, I have control of my own sandwich."

At the evening campfires,the men were open to my discussions how important a sense of belonging is, and the importance and role of  spiritual disciplines. All the men expressed an interest in returning and three men will be going over this week as volunteers working on the farm and enjoying some recreation. 

Since returning I have met with Jeff Willis, the Director of Fircom, and Stephen Gray, the Executive Director of Operations at First United. I will be inviting the men to a group meeting every other week, attempting to further the sense of community, well being, and belonging started at the retreat. 

We have starting planning to hold what I am calling "The Next Step." Those in any stage of recovery will be invited for four nights, and five days. I will help them assess where they could  take the next steps in their recovery. One of the goals will be grieving and recovering lost potential and moving past the losses of addiction. There will be an emphasis on Psych-Ed in the mornings and group process in the afternoons and evenings. The groups will also have access to kayaking, archery, hiking, and time to reflect and do written exercises in the beautiful and serene setting of Fircom. We will have a nurse present in case anyone goes through traumatic withdrawal during the week. Both groups are writing for grants to finance these events. 

Please keep this in your thoughts and prayers. If you would like to see an outline of the "Next Step" process drop me an email and I will be glad to send it to you. 

Ross

Workshops this Fall

Labor Day signifies the end of summer and the beginning of fall. Summer vacations are over and schools and universities are about to begin again. Days are becoming shorter and evenings cooler. For me it means scheduling  workshops that have been discussed this summer. 

On my last blog I introduced you to Fircom and the Wellness retreat that was initiated with 10 men from First United Church. I am pleased to announce that a follow up retreat with the same group will be held again at Fircom Sept 19-21. One of our goals will be introducing the possibility of the group continuing to meet with me periodically after the retreat with the goal of building a sense of community out of our budding relationships. This would naturally lead to becoming a corp of mentors and involvement with others staying at the shelter leading to expanded involvement on more retreats for more residents. The impact on the group has been immeasurable and they are eager to return and offer their services one morning for a couple of projects establishing a farm. One of our group has volunteered to live on the island for six months in exchange for helping create the farm (he has 25 years experience farming before becoming dislocated economically). He has commented how he is feeling connected to himself once more. 

We are still working on plans to hold  my Addictions Workshop (which has now been extended to 6 hours of material) on Oct 26-28 at Fircom. Jeff Willis (the director) and I are also planning a major event we are calling The Next Step which would held 5 to 7 days at Fircom. The goal is to take a group from the shelter, accepting wherever they are in their pursuit of clean and sober living and intervening to help them take the next step. We will even have a nurse available given the possibility of someone going through withdrawal. 

Oct 6, 13, 20 I will be facilitating an Addictions Workshop with the North Bay Christ the King Community Church in Birch Bay where I am living. I have been meeting with the pastor Dan McEvoy and 10 interested folks from the church who are interested in having having an outreach and ministry to those addicted and / or recovering. When this comes to fruition, it will be the only outreach in a 30 mile radius from this side of Bellingham to the Canadian border. Last week one participant shared she has access to two dentists who will assist with dental care for those new to recovery. Can you imagine what an emotional boost this would be for a long term meth user? At the Workshop we will bring together thoughts and plans for a 12 step program and other community support. Most of you know what drives me is the belief that the local church should be the ideal setting for recovery. I also anticipate cooperation and sharing from the other local churches I have become acquainted with in this area. 

This fall I also will be holding an Addictions Workshop with The Jesus Gathering, a downtown Bellingham outreach that has been able to attract many of the marginalized in that area. It takes me back to the late 60's when I became a follower of Jesus in California during the Jesus Movement. A couple of times during the week they walk the streets of the most troubled area of Bellingham initiating conversations with the homeless, addicted, and a large number of dislocated students. 


A local coffee shop has given them 
the use of a back room where they can sit around a table discussing areas of interest and establishing friendships. On Thursday evenings they have an open mic at the Majestic and the local musical talent is amazing. Many of those living in the area are very gifted and giving them a public place to express their talents can be so encouraging to them. They also teach Bible studies at the nearby Mission as well as the coffee shop. 

Sunday afternoons they have an upbeat worship service followed by a meal prepared by other churches to serve to those in attendance. They meet in the basement of the Majestic which has a large meeting room and a kitchen.

The picture in a near by park shows folks that attend the Gathering enjoying a picnic last month which attracted some of the dislocated neighborhood folks just passing by. 

The Grandview Calvary Baptist Church has an outreach to the marginalized in Vancouver known as JustWork. They have three industries: pottery, small construction / painting, and catering. They are providing jobs and also assisted living for those in the DTES. I recently met with their leadership and we will be doing a Workshop with their with staff and those employed in this non- profit, social enterprise. I hope you will take time to look at their website to really get a grasp on how important and creative a ministry this is. They have a traditional church and a missional church holding services in the sanctuary, one in the morning and the other Sunday evening. They have a balance of presenting the spiritual and social gospel I am thrilled to be associated with. 

When I have consolidated all these dates, we are planning to have another workshop at the Dugout. Last time we had folks from the AA group that meets there, those from the neighborhood who drop in for morning soup line or a place to relax during the daytime and the staff of volunteers.

I will greatly appreciate your kind thoughts and prayers as my schedule feels quite demanding added to my other involvements in the DTES.

Ross