#16 Children of Addiction

One in four children lived with an alcoholic or other drug addict while growing up. When we include other addictions (gambling, eating disorders, pornography etc.) who knows how to measure the impact on children in our current addictive culture. Most have experienced some form of neglect or abuse. 

A relationship between parental addiction and child abuse has been documented in a large proportion of child abuse and neglect cases. A national study of welfare professionals showed that 79.6% cited substance abuse contributing to at least 1/2 of all cases of child mistreatment they see. Another 39.7 of workers said it is a factor in 3/4 of their cases. It is estimated that 80% of welfare spending is due to substance abuse and addiction.

A child raised in such an environment may have a variety of emotional problems. They may struggle with guilt as small children often see themselves as the main cause of family problems. They may worry constantly about the situation at home and may fear fights and domestic abuse between the parents, or the high possibility of divorce. The addiction is kept a secret and children may feel ashamed to invite others home. They are ashamed and afraid to ask anyone for help.

Because the child has been disappointed by the addicted parent(s) so often they often struggle to trust others. They are generally confused by the lack of a regular schedule and the mood swings of the parents. Often the children are very depressed feeling lonely and helpless to change the situation. 

Although trying to keep the addiction as secret, children often exhibit acting out behaviors. They may fail in school and be truant. They may start stealing or exhibit violence.  They frequently have physical complaints such as headaches or stomachaches. They are at high risk for becoming addicted themselves, and their age of initial substance abuse the earliest.

Some children of addicts take on acting like responsible parents. They can become overachievers yet still be emotionally isolated from others. To keep the family system together they assume roles that should be taken by the addicted parent(s). 

Again, children of addiction are high risk to become addicts themselves or highly co-dependent and get involved in tangled relationships with addicts.